I think I haven't logged in for more than a year, maybe 2 years. Just because I think I have not even a trace of ceativity in me, I only can lots of stuff a little, but nothing very good, also in real life. I will browse some more again from now on

My view on the world has not improved, it even darkens every day. This world is being lived and being destroyed so obviously that our blindness has become perverse. Luckily there are still some people left who still have some real values in life, and I'm lucky some of them are my friends. I don't need many to be happy. Lots of people have lots of so-called 'friends', but when something terrible happens they have no one left. I rather have very few friends who I can trust blindly than have 100 selfsh human beings as 'friends' who only care about their car, celphone, bank account, sex, the exterior, ... this list is so painful.

And then I look at myself and see that I'm not better, I realised I've been messed up by this society, I'm full of mental flaws and I irritate people myself by my pessimism. I have locked myself up in my own world of games, virtual reality as a refugee from the reality. I'm weak, I always feel the need of people around me, but there are so few who understand what I mean.

If I have a purpose in this life it's certainly not here, but as long I have people who care about me I will be there. Is this the meaning of life?